im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
