I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
