she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
