one might say we're banned from that church
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
