Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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