well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
