you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
