yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
