i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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