i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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