just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
