Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
