Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
