Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
