3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
