I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
