btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
