last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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