big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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