I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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