I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Non-Jews are for practice
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
