If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
