i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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