Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
