just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
