See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
