How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
