brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
