We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
