I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
