Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
