I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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