when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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