i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
