Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i drank out of a bidet.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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