so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
