I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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