No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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