i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
