i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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