You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
