I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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