I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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