She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
