In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
