like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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