She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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