we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
