That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
