I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
