chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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