i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
