Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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